I did not have a very good day. While I got to send the morning with Jenny and Catalina, I spent it walking around another hospital. Beside bring back more memories of Olga, Grandma, and Ray it also was another reminder that I am alone and will be the rest of my life.
Still don’t have my class project done and now my anxiety is really high again. Hoping the library is open tomorrow.
I just lost my ride to the library. I have know idea how I am going to focus on my class project. I really need my own place!!!!!!!
Planning on spending the day at the library. I have a lot of work to get done on my class project today, but I am find it very hard to focus on the project. My Anxiety and Depression make it hard enough, but having a house full of people and the TV going 24×7 it is almost impossible for me to focus on homework.
My only problem with this plan is that Jenny had a break line fail on her car so I am letting her use my car for a few days so I will need a ride to the library.
Today was anther very unproductive day. I have a major class project due in just a few days and it is not even close to be done. To make thing worse this is the third time I have taking this class and dropped it because of things going on in my life. If I do it this time I will be kicked out of school.
I need to get my life under control!!!!
I need to get my depression and stress under control!!!
or I need to move on to what ever is next!!!!!!
I had a real bad night and I am not doing very well this morning. I have so much to get done, but all I want to do is go back to bed. I need to get my depression and stress under control!!!!
I just got an email telling me that a good family friend passed away overnight. My dad is a retired police officer and Ray was his partner. He has been a close family friend for all of my life. I will miss our talks a lot.
It kind of freaks me out that I had a dream last night in which Ray had passed, but I guess it was expected. Ray has been very ill with cancer for sometime and doctors had said it would not be long. Death has also been on my mind a lot lately with my Grandmother and Olga passing only a few weeks ago.
Right now I am in the middle of a mild panic attack. It started about 10 or 15 minutes ago when I woke-up from a bad dream. Right after waking up I turned ice cold, but I was still sweating like crazy. My heart than started to race and my breathing followed it.
While I have not had a night in week in which I have not had bad dreams, this one a real bad. In the dream a good friend passed away. Sadly the dream may come true real soon, because Ray is the third member of what Olga once called “Her little Cancer Club” and doctors said last week he only had a short time.
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Spent most of the day helping cleaning out my Grandmothers apartment. See passed away a few weeks ago of cancer. The emotions of today have me feeling a little down today.
My legs and my arms are really killing me tonight. I am sure part of it is because I have been going non-stop today, but I think most of it is the bad weather that is expected to hit our area by early morning. Right now they are expecting 8 to 10 inches of snow.
While I will often say that I live in Chicago when talking to people, I actually living about 36 miles north of the city in the town of Mundelein. While Mundelein has problems with crime from time to time like all towns in America, violate crime is very uncommon especially murder. So I was a little shocked to make up and hear the news the there had been a Murder Suicide in town overnight. I was even more shocked when I found out that it was right down the street from the home of my friend Sonya.
It really is sad and shocking.
Below is a story on the Murder from the Chicago Tribune
Night of brutality in Mundelein: 2 dead, 1 injured
