About my Journey

I originally started this blog on September 27th, 2003 to “Tell my personal step-by-step journey from morbid obesity to a new life with the help of Weight Loss Surgery (WLS), and my family and friends.” I did in fact have the surgery on December 30th, 2003 and I continued to blog about the changes that came after it until May of 2005 when I walked away from the blog.

Why I Stopped Blogging?
There were the reasons why I walked away from the blog. One of the reasons was that I returned to school in May of 2005, just a few days after stopping the original blog. While I love to tell myself that return to school was the main reason for stopping the blog, after all school did take up a lot of my time, it really was only a small factor. If I really wanted to, I could have found the time to make a few posts.

The main reason why I walked away is a little more difficult to explain. Over the 2+ years that was was blogging about my journey I would get emails all the time from people telling me that my blog helped them on their own journey. It most cases it was just know that someone else was under-going the sames things as they were helped. but also I guess I inspired a few people to make changes in their own lives. A couple even got married it part because of me telling my story in the blog.

The blog also helped me. It was great to have a place that I could talk about what was going on in my life and about thing I was thinking about. However, while this did help me it also in the long term hurt some of the people around me which I do still regret today. In fact, trying to find the write mix of what to post about my personal life and what not to post is something I am still worried about as I restart the blog.

Return to Blogging
The decision to restart this blog has not been an easy one for me to make. In fact I never really thought that I ever would restart it. It is not that I had not thought about it, I even came close a few times, but so much has happened over the last six years that I just did not think it really was possible to continue my story. I even thought about just discarding the old posts and starting over, but that would be wrong because I would be ignoring my past. However, I am not the same person I was six years ago, I don’t want to bring things back up that may heart people I still care about. So when I do restore the old posts I may discard some of them.

As I have already said a lot has happened over the last six years and I really don’t think it would be possible for me to talk about everything that has happened. Below is a few of the things that had the biggest impact on my life.

About six months after I stopped blogging, Jenny and Matthew who I use to talk about all the time in the old blog, moved to Illinois and we are still very close today. I have said it many times and I am sure I will say it many more times, that I don’t know what I would have done with out the two of them in my life.

In 2008, I graduated Summa Cum Laude from DeVry University with a Bachelors Degree in Digital Forensics. I even had the honor of being the class Valedictorian, something that still shocks me today.

After DeVry, I continued my education at Keller Graduate School. Things were going great, but than in the beginning of 2010 things started to fall apart for me and I came very close to not only dropping out of graduate school, but giving up on life all together. It was at that point that a little butterfly entered my life and gave me the strength to move forward.

In march of 2010 a friend from DeVry moved back to Illinois. Sofia (who my nickname for is My Little Butterfly) was also going through a real hard time in her life and I truly believe that a higher power brought us together to help each other get back on our feet. We both need someone who we could trust, someone who we could talk honestly, that would not judge, someone would offer advice if asked, but in the end stand by and support the decision of the other. Sofia and her little girl Clara have had a major impact on my life, they gave me a strength to continue on my journey and I don’t know what I would do without their friendship.

Моя маленькая бабочка, я не знаю, что я сделал бы с вне вас. Вы всегда будете в моем уме и сердце.

In June of 2011  I got my Masters in Information Systems Management from DeVry Universities’s Keller Graduate School Collage of Engineering and Information Sciences. At the time I am writing this post I have actually returned to Keller to take a few additional classes to meet a requirement that would let me return to DeVry as a Professor. Something I really would love to do someday.

Restarting My Journey
While I guess I never really stopped my original journey, and a lot of great things have happened alone the path, I have stumbled a lot. I screwed up my weight loss surgery putting back on a lot of the weight I had lost, this has not only hurt my health, but I also know it has been a major factor in me not finding a job. I am also still alone.

I made the the decision a few weeks ago that I need to restart my journey. To give myself one more try to find my way to a better life. I still don’t know for sure what I want that better life to include, but I know I don’t like my life as it is now. As such, the focus of this blog has changed a little. While I will talk about my struggle with morbid obesity, I am also going to talk about the other paths I need to take alone my way. Including improving my health (maybe with the help of surgery again), find a career (not just a job), and maybe (the key word is maybe) finding someone to share that life with.

To put it simply I am still on a journey, but I have a different destination. I am no longer looking for a new life or just a better life, but I am also looking for Raison D’être (A Reason for Living).

Updated: Aug 14th, 2001 – New name for Blog

The orginal name for this blog was  ”Weight Loss Surgery or Death - One Man’s Journey from Morbid Obesity to a New Life“. While this name did help bring people to the blog, I know longer think it truly fits the focus of the blog. For that reason I am renaming the blog. The new name is “My Journey – One man’s search for Raison D’être”

rai·son d’ê·tre [rày zawn déttrə]
(plural rai·sons d’ê·tre[rày zawn déttrə])

noun

reason for living: something that gives meaning or purpose to somebody’s life, or the justification for something’s existence

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