The Fight has Started

If you are reading this post, then what I am about to talk about has already concluded or is far alone enough for me to feel safe to talk about it. That is because I have decided to hide the posts related to the guardianship fight for Clara until it is over. That way anything, I may say in posts related to this fight can’t be used by her birth father to attack my character.

So why make the posts in the first place if I am only going to hide it, because I am worried about them being found? Simply put I post to this blog to help me stay focused and to vent about everything that is going on in my life and the only person I 100% trusted with my feelings died on January 4th.

Last Thursday Tanya another one of Sonya close friends, who I am going to be co-parenting Sonya’s daughter Clara with, and I meet with our new lawyer to finalize our petition for guardianship of Clara and this morning the lawyer filed that petition with the court. Technically I will only be receiving temporary guardianship while we are in court and I will have stand by guardianship after Tanya receives full guardianship of Clara, but we have decided we are all in this together. I have loved Clara like my own daughter for 14 years and that love will never go away.

Laster this week Clara’s birth father will find out about our petition and thing may get interesting. I don’t want to talk negatively about her father, but what he would do to Clara scares me. He abandoned her when she was just two years old and has had little contact with her over the last 14 years. He had a lot of issues that would make him a bad and dangerous parent. Issues I am not going to post about at this time.

I love you Sonya

Update: I knew today was going to be difficult, but it was a lot more difficult than I thought. Most of the day was more anxiety than depression or sadness, but since coming home from the service I have really been sad to the level of being numb. All I want to do is turn off the lights and climb in bed and cry.

Update

I have not posted in a while because I have been overwhelmed with everything that has happened this year. However, this is going to change. I need to gain better control of my life and this blog will help me focus.

Thanks Jenny

Jenny sent me this the other day. I really did not think that there was a photo of Sonya, Clara, and I. Okay so it is not the best photo. It is from a few years ago and I was in the hospital after almost dying from a septic infection, but I am still glad Jenny found the photo. Thanks Jenny.

My Mom’s Health

I just got a call from my dad. My brother James and him are visiting my mom at the hospital. He called to tell me her health has had a bad turn for the worse. She has been fighting health issues for over ten years and I really hope she pulls through again, but I am really worried this she may not.